| Jan. 4th, 2007 @ 12:29 am about me, if your interested, a story I wish to share |
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Current Location: ohio
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: passion-kingom hearts 2
HOW I CAME TO BE
"I'm just living a dream that i'll never wake up from"-Spike Spigel(Cowboy bebop)
This is a recording, so that others years from now will know who I was, what I went through, and what fate I was destined to follow. I speak of only what I know and of no tales, the truth is more important and so is the perspective of which I tell if from. Do not judge any of the people in this story without truly knowing them. On that note I will continue....
"I was born on a cold January night, 2 minutes before midnight. My family was happy for my arrival, and I had 2 loving parents. From that day til I was five, I lived contently with my Mother and Father, spending time with my mother's parents, Grandpa Best, and Grandma Best, who we lovingly called "Grandma Bigboss". I moved at least 4 3 times that I know of and made friends with the children who lived near me quite easily. Live was good."
"My Grandparents loved me, and visited me often, my Grandfather would go fishing and camping with my Father and me, treating my dad like he was one of his own blood, which he had many children. Unknowingly, Grandpa Best taught me at an early age several virtues that would follow me all my life. His love for nature and kind spirit followed me and became part of me even after his death, which sadly was only 5 years after I was born. Still, I continued on, barely knowing him since I was so little when he was alive. I learned tales of magick and folktales from my family, .secrets and legends that strengthened my thirst for the truth. My Grandma's friends coming over to read her tarot, which I would always be there listening,I would pick up the reading of oracle cards years later. At an early age I would dress as knights with my cousins and act out our own imagined plays, fighting dragons, and saving the day for the people. Black note of that year was my grandfathers death in a car accident and my divorce of my parents after his death, my father leaving for the Navy, and me staying with my Mother. My life was torn and I cried."
"Most people who loses a father or mother to divorce never hear from them again, either because they do not want to talk to their parent or because the parent wants nothing to do with the child. My father was different. Even after he left, he kept in constant contact with me and my mother, doing anything he could to help, always sending cards and words of encouragement and love to me. I even got to spend a great deal of time with him over the years even to this day. His love and Patience created a bond that I never could believe be possible." My mother and me lived happily together, having alot of personality traits that we shared and she did her best to take care of me by herself."
"Going to public school was both a Blessing and a Curse. I learned much and gained wisdom that later on I could reflect on, while at the same time I was an outcast from my peers, beaten and spat upon for my non-violent nature and open heart were unique in my early age. While other kids were cruel and hypocrites, I learned to maintain my anger and negativity and focus it to productive and positive outlets, like art and music. I would draw of strange monsters and brave warriors that I have no idea where the images came from except my own imagination. I sang and played percussion and brass up to my senior year. I also found my first love, reading, which I did alot by myself, since I didn't have friends to play with. The books were a way for me to feel truly free in this world, later I started to play role playing games with my friends years later and still do."
"My only friends up to my last years of middle-school was few and the only constant companions in my life were my cousins, which I saw almost every weekend. No matter my flaws, they loved me for who I was and am. I knew no others outside my kin that showed my such love. After years of being bullied and picked on by my classmates, I slowly slipped into depression. My mother, and my new Step-father thought it no byproduct of being spit on and kicked on a weekly basis, saying it was signs of ADD which I was diagnosed with, and at the advice of my "Therapist" I was forced to take several drugs til I was 18. We found out I did not have ADD, but the damage was already done and it was too late, I could no longer draw or write my fantastic creatures or landscapes or write wondrous stories to cheer myself up, a side effect of the combination of the drugs final act of cruel fate. I slipped further and further into depression, the only light in my life were my friends and my dreams of being a knight. My last year I was given a vision of a white dragon symbolizing a Knight of some sort. 3Years later I met my first pennsic war teacher, a strange but kind teacher whose symbol was a white dragon. I thought nothing of it at first."
"From my friends, I learned compassion, mercy, and how to care for others. My father told me, "I could do anything as long as I set my mind to it", while my mother and My mother and stepfather taught me how to make an honest living and hard work pays off. My grandma was caring, merciful, and always there for me. Because of them I could see hope in the world, and how we all have burdens, but together we could win the day if only we try. At the age of 17 in October, My dear Grandma Bigboss passed away. I was heartbroken again and became numb. My last year of high school was the toughest, for that year people looked at me not in anger, hate, and cruel remarks, but in pity. My emotional scars were so deep I did not recognize this and almost didn't graduate because of self-hate and apathy. The only motivation for my Diploma was that I didn't have to go to school anymore."
more to come |
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